Ideas on Life Change and Leadership

One of my early memories of being in a boat was my fascination with the wake.  Regardless of the rockiness on the open water, the water behind the boat enjoyed a turbulent-free existence, at least for a little while.  The track of waves in the boat’s wake created an endless opportunity for excitement to the thrill-seekers who were tubing or skiing behind us.  Then there were those people into whom the wake eventually flowed.  They would just as soon we had never come around.  For them, our wake was a source of frustration.

You may never have thought about it in these terms, but your leadership leaves a wake.  How you lead creates an environment for the people around you with one of three effects.

CALMING EFFECT:  For some, your leadership calms their troubled waters.  Behind your leadership, they feel safe.  When they know you are in charge, their confidence grows.  They may not be the kind of people you place on the front lines, but their willingness to follow and contribute in behind-the-scenes kinds of ways is an investment every leader appreciates.

EXCITING EFFECT:  For others, your leadership creates opportunities for excitement and risk taking.  These people love to ride, jump, or turn flips on the wake you are creating.  As long as they see you moving forward, they are thrilled to be part of the experience.  They may even encourage you to speed up.  And maybe they’re right.

FRUSTRATING EFFECT:  But for some, your leadership creates turbulence and upsets them.  As the waves of your leadership wake reach these people, their boat is rocked.  Now, you could slow down and minimize the wake.  Perhaps you should, especially if it’s more important WHO arrives with you than WHEN you arrive.  Of course, you could change direction and eliminate your wake’s impact on them.  That’s not likely to be an option if you’re confident that the direction you’re leading is the right way to go.  In this situation, you have to live with the fallout of your leadership and press on.

If you lead, you’re going to make a wake.  Knowing this will help you think ahead about those you’ll impact with your leadership and how you will deal with or leverage the power of your wake.  Bon voyage!

SPEAK YOUR MIND:  What part of the wake do you prefer to experience?

One of the most pressing responsibilities of a leader is to confront the behaviors that have the potential to destroy the unity of the church, business, or organization that you lead.  And one of the most destructive behaviors is complaining, gossiping, and/or whining (each of which is often cloaked as “prayer requests” or “sharing something God has laid on my heart”) to someone other than the person or people who can deal with and remedy the issue.

Here’s an example:  Let’s say someone has a problem with what he or she perceives to be the motivation behind a decision that was made.  Instead of asking to meet with someone involved in making the decision in an attempt to understand the rationale and motive behind it, he or she opts to express their assumptions and frustrations with another person who has no insight into the why’s and how’s of the decision.  They’re just “a listening ear” at best, and potentially something worse if they begin to buy into the assumptions of the disgruntled party.

Question:  What should you do if you find yourself in the position of “a listening ear” and you have neither the knowledge of the situation nor the authority to address it?

Answer:  Ask the simple question, “What did they say when you sat down and talked with them about your concerns?”

The value of such a question is three-fold:

1.  It reveals whether his or her motivation is to get answers or get attention.

2.  It reveals her or his willingness to pursue unity in the face of disagreements.

3.  It reveals his or her readiness to be entrusted with leadership responsibilities.

My experience has been that if someone is unwilling to initiate such a conversation in a face-to-face meeting, he or she is certainly not ready to be in a formal position of leadership and influence with others.

On the other hand, my experience has been that when someone takes the initiative to have the hard conversation, they are demonstrating the character, maturity, and competencies necessary to lead and influence others in healthy ways.

The next time someone approaches you in an effort to gain “a listening ear,” simply ask, “What did they say when you sat down and talked with them?”  If they haven’t had that sit-down conversation, you know where to send them.  The actions that follow speak louder than words.

SPEAK YOUR MIND:  What have you learned from experiences like this?